So This Is Life. Again.

Yo.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 01:12:08 GMT

Should have done this ages ago, but, whatever.

This journal is no longer part of Fandom High. Please defriend it. (and while you're at it, remove littleluck, because Dom hasn't been around for a year and a half).

I'd say it's been fun, but that'd be a lie.

ETA: Except for turning Beka the obnoxious Mary Sue into a hamster. That was awesome.

Late night, garden

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 04:06:39 GMT

Moonlight and wind and rain and trees. Or maybe not trees. Zhaan was mostly content with sitting in the midst of her garden. She'd been spending most days on the roof ~~which Batou was ignoring, as the entire idea of a Very Happy Plant disturbed him~~, only wandering through the shop to dust ~~and build Lego Vipers~~ occasionally.

It was odd to realize that she was happy here. Almost content.

It was just rather a pity there wasn't any piracy, at the moment.

Afternoon, garden

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 23:15:06 GMT

Having cleared the shop of most of the older herbs, Zhaan decided to spend the afternoon in the sun ~~whether there was sun or not~~, making cuttings to dry. A few would be replanted to cultivate more plants.

Working gently, she talked softly to the plants, thanking each for their contribution.

Her mind drifted here and there, recalling past gardens she'd been in. Friends she'd walked in them with, sometimes they were people she only remembered as voices. Others walked through her memories with a startling clarity.

Night, Garden behind Sanctity

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 05:56:28 GMT

Zhaan considered, briefly, bothering Batou and talking things over with him. But there was no point in crying on the man. If she did cry.

At that point, she wasn't sure what she would do. So, instead, she had a bottle of wine, the sky overhead to get lost in--and there was a thought. Getting lost. Forgetting her past, their future. It was a momentary idea that she only briefly considered with a sigh.

Forgetting would solve nothing.

Of course, finding a Diagnostician on Earth might prove difficult. She sighed.

Easier to drink and enjoy the night, and hope that things would look better in the morning.

[~~If they do, you can be sure you're on the wrong ship.~~]

Late night, garden behind Sanctity

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 06:38:47 GMT

It seems she never comes here with any sort of peace in mind.

Zhaan paces, feet knowing the movements between the plants well. Not quite stepping on roots or leaves or trailing vines. Always just missing crushing the smaller herbs that flourished in their beds.

Restless feet, quiescent hands folded behind her back, eyes closed. She finally stops in front of the slowly growing sanctity root and opens her eyes to watch it. Almost, for a moment, she can see it grow. But tiny changes in the skin and form. Cells doubling every moment, water and energy spilling along the veins and conduits.

Scorpius had been in Fandom. Aeryn had talked with her, then she'd in turn gone to see Stark. His agitation had cooled hers.

But now a new phone message from Aeryn had disconcerted her again. Reminded her of what she'd touched, what she knew.

Such evil. Even now, she could remember the taste of it at the back of her throat as he laughed at her. Tenth Level Pa'u. Pity. A Twelfth could break this bond. Time to pray. And then her own insane desperation--she shoves the thought away. No.

No matter what, this Crichton, this Aeryn were not the same people. Similar, yes, but people in their own right.

Resolved, she moves back into the shop and places a call.

Uncertainty gone, she slips back into the garden and takes a seat in the wilds, legs folded underneath her. Her eyes slip closed, and she breathes in peace.

Very late night, Garden behind Sanctity

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 08:56:16 GMT

Zhaan was sitting perfectly still in the center of growing things. She could feel them, as if they were under her skin. Moving gently, shifting, sprouting. If she laid back, she felt as though they would grow through her.

Her skin itched as though they already had.

Eyes open, she stared blankly at nothing, trying to understand what was bothering her.

Giving up, eventually, she went into get some rest. Stopping at the machine, she noted the light and carefully listened to the message.

A glance at the time, and she considered before making a call of her own, hoping Aeryn would have the ringer turned off.

Then with a sigh, she checked the locks, ran a finger around the counters to check for dust, and went to bed. On the way through the hall, she checked that Gabriel had water.

Sanctity: lateish

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 04:55:06 GMT

"You're lonely," the girl said abruptly.

Zhaan looked up from her cup of tea and smiled gently, "You mistake the matter. I'm perfectly content."

"Yes, and it's driving you insane."

Setting the cup down, Zhaan almost snorted. "I have spent too long wishing for the peace I now have. You cannot tell me I'm lonely." She tilted her head, "Besides, if I were one to make bets, I would give short odds on you being the one in need of companionship."

"Perhaps."

The same argument. The same result. Except this time, the girl had promised someone would be coming. Zhaan looked at the spare room. It hadn't been cleaned since Tex had used it, but the mercenary wasn't particularly slobby. Unlike John Crichton, Zhaan didn't expect to find random underwear and wormhole equations on paper in piles on the floor.

She pulled the sheets from the bed and opened the window to drape the comforter over the sill to air it out while she placed new bedding down. It amused her that the sheets she'd purchased on a whim (trains and cheerfully smiling teddy bears) would be used by an adult.

A noise from the street caught her attention, and she stiffened. There was something like gunfire in the distance, but she'd been ignoring it. This, was different.

Glancing out the window, she realized that her visitor was in time.

Darting a glance around the room, she headed down into the shop to greet him. After all, it wouldn't to to keep her friend waiting.

Late night: Garden

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 05:13:50 GMT

The moon had risen hours before, but there was still silvered light pouring down on the garden. Zhaan had taken advantage of it, sitting with her knees drawn up on one of the benches. Her eyes were distant as the plants settled down for the late night frost to come.

Small rustlings came from here and there, animals crossing through their territory, bugs seeking out food.

A conversation she'd had days ago drifted across her mind, and a pensive twist came to her lips.

"Don't you ever get lonely?"

The girl looks up from her task, half-smiles, "I could ask the same of you." The voice doesn't match the body. The age in her eyes is too old for the dozen years she appears to have.

"You could." Zhaan ducks her head to smell the tea, a smile tracing across her lips. "But I am not exactly human, my dear."

"And neither am I," the girl points out, her tone ironic. She's nearly finished, her hands almost still again.

"Are you not?" Amused disbelief colours Zhaan's tone. She sips at the peach and lemon tea, appreciating the calm it infuses.

The girl snorts and tosses the origami chicken at Zhaan. "We've had this conversation before."

And probably would again.

Zhaan shifted, her body deciding it was high time she moved. The garden stilled for a moment, then the moment had passed.

Glancing up, she noted that it was later than it should be, and she should sleep, even a tenth-level Pa'u required rest. Unfolding herself, she placed a hand on the bench, atop the sheet of paper that still contained carefully creased folds.

She fingered the edge, then stood and left it on the bench to gather sunlight or rain as it would.

Evening, garden.

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 23:02:12 GMT

The air is crystal-clear, the shadows almost pristine in their edges. One of the small bushes suddenly decided it was spring and budded new leaves which are slowly folding up. The feel of growing things runs rampant for a split-second, then dissolves as her eyes flicker open.

Meditating in this strange land isn't difficult, but sometimes she wonders about the concentration expended.

The sanctity root is glowing to itself quietly, and she studies it, while considering the two calls she received the day before. It hadn't been until that afternoon that she had the time to returned the calls.

And while it had been lovely to hear from Aeryn, the message itself... well, it seemed some things never changed. And some things definitely stayed the same.

The evening shifts, and Zhaan stands. Perhaps there will be time to open the shop before dinner.

A check on Tex might not go amiss, either. If Tex wasn't in a mood. A smile touches her lips. Likely. But she has certainly survived worse.

[was so not awake for rp yesterday, sorry, but I can at least attempt to follow-through today ;)]

Sanctity: Early morning.

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 12:59:42 GMT

Returning through the back garden, Zhaan felt a sense of peace. It had been a profitable expedition, this time. Although that request... She settled the thought elsewhere, determined to be serene. Besides, given the delicate colour tingeing the sky, morning would break and other worries would claim her thoughts.

Stepping into the building, she paused, her senses telling her something was slightly off.

A glance through the storage room door confirmed the shop was fine, the only difficulty the layer of dust it had accrued in her absence. She eyed the dust as if it had committed a crime against nature.

She also noted the little disturbances where people had walked through it.

Carefully climbing the stairs to the second floor, Zhaan strained to listen, finally catching the sound of someone breathing. It was the steady, deep breaths of one asleep.

Moving swiftly and surely through the darkened hallway, she stopped in front of the spare room and listened.

"Someone is snoring in my bed," she murmured, borrowing a popular children's story. She opened the door and glanced inside, the light from the window giving enough illumination for her to see Tex's armor scattered here and there. "Ah."

Quietly closing the door, Zhaan headed for her own room. Morning would break shortly, and then she could discover the reason for her current companion.

[slow-played due to the fabulous concept of time zones and work. Also most likely locked to Tex and/or anyone in on the plot]

oh, the sleigh bells are ringin'

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 17:55:43 GMT

I had an... unsettling encounter recently. And it took until now to realise why Tex disturbed me with her actions. Reactions? Her change of personality is remeniscent of John Crichton under the influence of Scorpius' chip.

This is a worrying thought, and one I'd fear more if I thought I was the only one who would notice this sort of thing. But our esteemed mayor seemed a sharp fellow, given to insight.

There is also the fact that I have no proof that she is not still herself.

My inaction--something Aeryn once called me on--may cause more grief. And yet, I can't bring myself to act yet. Is this the result of death? Am I afraid to die again? Or am I simply too set in my ways, even now.

Time and tide...

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 03:15:50 GMT

John Crichton used to keep a journal, I'd see him study it when he needed the comfort of home. As he got more used to us, to Moya, he needed it less and less.

I suspect his need is different from my own.

He always had the hope of making it home, whereas I know I will never get there. Delvia is like the round table of King Arthur: unattainably something lost forever.

Still, I have my garden and the Sanctity root. I have this small town, and strangely enough, I have John and Aeryn again. Though this pair do not know me. And I have Chiana, I wonder if she still would steal from a priest. And Stark... I'm never certain what to do with Stark. He simply is, as I am.

Where once that would have been enough... But perhaps I'm simply being overly philosophical. Aeryn would have told me to leave behind my solitude for reality.

Perhaps I shall.

Earthlings....

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 06:02:59 GMT

I have discovered at least one contact for intriguing dealings.

There may be others.

I have also discovered that the Goddess has something of an evil sense of humour.

Aeryn Sun is here. But this is not the Aeryn I once knew, this is a younger one. I believe I disturbed her with my words at our meeting. That was not my intention, but the joy at seeing her--perhaps I am becoming too sentimental in my old age.

The day did not end before I had discovered that Chiana is here as well. She, however, does remember me.

I require time to adjust, as Crichton once said.

At least I understand the mechanics of life here better than he did aboard Moya.

Night: Zhaan's Garden. Stargazing 2.01

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 04:24:02 GMT

When she flew between them, Zhaan never paused to consider the flawless simplicity of the stars. Feeling them as waves of light and sound, yes. But their crystalline beauty, when seen through atmosphere was something entirely different to waltzing past them. Although both experiences proved the stars to be heedless of their surroundings.

Gazing up at them from the midst of her garden, she considered the things she could have done.

The things she could still do.

A flicker of amusement touched her. There was much she could learn and do here, if only for herself.

Besides, if she did get restless, she could always leave.

The sunlight is...

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 05:10:12 GMT

Different here.

I suppose I can blame Crichton for my inability to look at sunlight quite the same way. There's something peaceful about it, though. It's more yellow than Delvia ever was, but the azure shades are less.

There's quite a nice little corner, here, I think I'll plant a garden.

Irony doesn't become you, Pa'u.

But then, neither did death--or what came after.

One of these days, you really must make a choice to let it all go. Perhaps you'll become one of your flowering plants, complete with rosettes cascading where you once had tears.

::There is a vine that flowers deep in the heart of the woods.

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 05:05:47 GMT

This is Zhaan, currently I'm away at my meditations. If you would like to leave a message, please feel free to do so. If you would like to see me naked, I have extra incense about. If you're calling to offer me a job, better make the offer good.

I like my tranquility.